admin Picture this: you are in a relationship with a great guy. He’s friendly and polite and your family and friends; everyone who meets him, instantly likes him. But whenever he is around another woman, he seems to pour on just a little bit more charm. Are your feelings justified in believing he is flirting or are you just imagining it?
Before you go down this road of accusations and implications, look back at how he was with you before you became a couple. Was he “flirting” with you in the same manner you feel he is now using on other women? If so, perhaps it is just his nature and you didn’t see it before because you were not yet a couple.
In order to settle this, you first have to define what flirting is. This definition can vary from person to person depending on what they are willing to tolerate. Some people have zero tolerance when it comes to their partner flirting… while others see it as harmless fun.
You have to decide how much is too much and then sit down with your partner and explain to him exactly how you feel. If you feel as if you are less in his eyes, or perhaps he is looking at other women that appeal to him more than you, then tell him so.
But you also need to explain to him why you feel this way…
maybe you were in a past relationship where your partner excessively flirted and eventually left you.
you may subconsciously associate flirting as being the pre-cursor to the relationship ending because your partner will find someone more appealing to him.
perhaps you have noticed a partner in other couples who flirted and eventually, it broke up the relationship.
Whatever your feelings, you have to make them known.
Some people are naturally more friendly than others so you can’t automatically confuse being friendly with flirting. To tell the difference you need to look for other signs he could be interested in other women in an intimate way:
does he comment to you about other women and how they look?
does he often refer to great experiences he had with past partners?
Most importantly, is his “friendly” behavior the same for men and women, or is there a noticeable difference when he is around the opposite sex?
If you have voiced your feelings on the matter and he still appears to be flirting, then you need to draw the line. If he really respects you, he will back off of his behavior because of how it makes you feel. If not, then maybe you need to reconsider just how strong your relationship really is.
Learn about yourself… what makes you feel uncomfortable with your partner’s behavior? Are destructive emotions at the heart of the problem? If so, maybe you need to get control of what you are really telling yourself.