admin When you come into contact with a person you can tell likes to control people and various situations, your first inclination is probably to stay away from them. After all, you don’t need to deal with someone trying to tell you what to do and how to think. But what if you can’t get away from a controlling person? What if the person trying to control your life and how you think… is your partner?
People control others because of one simple reason: they are not happy with their own life. Controlling people often look to cover their pain and feel better about themselves by controlling other people, usually those they are close to. It’s easier for them to have another person working on defending themselves whilst taking the blame for whatever the controller puts onto them. Their behavior is all about being afraid to delve into their own issues and fix their pain source. It’s almost like they make other people pay the price for their inner suffering.
But unfortunately for the controller, very few people enjoy being controlled… not that this will stop them from trying.
Most of the time a controlling individual is easy to spot. They like to tell you what to do and when and how to do it. And if you don’t do what you are told, you feel somewhat guilty. You usually find yourself doing what you are “told” even when you wanted to say “no”.
Often, when the controller is your partner you have blinders on masking the true nature behind your partner’s intent. What you interpret as caring for you, for them knowing better than you… is actually control.
Even so, do you question whether your partner is controlling? To see, take this simple quiz:
1. Do they ever allow you to do things on your own or are they always there to tell you how it should be done and to interject their opinion? If there is never a break in their opinion, then chances are, they’re controlling.
2. But sometimes a partner can just have a strong, dominating will. They can be forceful and still not controlling. The way to tell the difference? See how they react to other people.
If your partner doesn’t try to control others, then they are definitely controlling you. Also, look to see if their controlling nature changes when the two of you are around other people. Do they hold back some? Chances are they are more controlling when the two of you are in private rather than when another person is around.
3. Another clue is their personality changes if you disagree with their recommendations. Instead of accepting a change of opinion, they become easily agitated at the thought you could possibly disagree with their logic.
4. The last way to tell is to turn the tables on them. Try to control them on a particular matter and see how they react. They will probably have very little patience for it and become angry at the thought you would try to be controlling. After all, that’s their job.