admin It can be emotionally devastating to discover your boyfriend does not want to get married. When it happened to me, I felt extremely confused. Here is what I did to get myself out of the mess, and what I advise you to do too…
Get clear which is more important to you – being married or being with your boyfriend.
Here is the story of how I discovered the power of being clear about what I want…
My relationship nearly ended when I was eager to marry my boyfriend, but he kept making excuses not to get married. Instead of trying to manipulate my boyfriend into changing his mind, I decided to just get clear which was more important to me – being with him or being married. After a few days of thought, I decided that being married was much more important to me than being with a boyfriend who did not want to get married. That is when I told my boyfriend that if he was not going to marry me, we would have to break up. I let him know that being married was important to me and that I understood if he did not feel ready. I told him I had to do what is right for me. Because I spoke from a place of power, without the need to blame him, he reconsidered his position and we are now making plans to get married!
Why is it important to be clear about what you want?
Your boyfriend knows his stand on marriage. In order to negotiate, you need to know where your stand is too. The person with the lesser need has more power to negotiate. You can’t get what you want unless you are clear about what it is. Being clear about what you want gives you the courage to stay or walk away from this relationship if you have to.
What is the danger of not being clear?
There is confusion. You feel helpless and lost. There is no light at the end of the tunnel. You feel upset, yet you don’t know why. This is frustrating for your boyfriend too. Worse still, if you are not clear about what you want, you could end up arguing with your boyfriend for the sake of arguing. Until you are clear about what you want, you can’t make a decision about what to do next in your relationship. Your relationship continues but your heart does not feel safe within it. Instead of having fun with your boyfriend, you are worried about the future of your relationship.
So get clear about which is more important to you – being married or being with your boyfriend. You will know what to do next from there…