admin Do you keep thinking to yourself, how can I get back with my ex girlfriend?
It’s obvious you have strong feelings for her. But how do you think she feels?
Do you really know how she felt about you before the breakup? And what about your breakup? Did you see it coming? Were there warning signs? Was there a lot of arguing and bad words between you? The issue that caused the split, is there still a way to make it right?
If you were at fault, you are the only one who can “fix” you. And you need to do all you can to remedy the situation. It may be something that requires more than a change in attitude. It could require some sort of specialized knowledge or professional help.
One of the most often overlooked aspects of trying to get back with your ex girlfriend, is we are so focused on what we want, we lose sight of what is best for your ex. Is she better off without you, or can you honestly say you gave a special meaning to her life?
The Question Most People Never Think Of
Here is a hard question to ponder: Did she make you a better person?
And would she say that you made her a better person? In all fairness, don’t you both deserve to be a positive influence on one another?
Your motive, in trying to figure out how to get back with your ex girlfriend, should be something beyond what’s in it for me. Focus more on how can I be the best that I can be for her, for her benefit.
One thing not to do–don’t focus on trying to immediately get back together. You both need time and space to recover, reflect. And realize there is much truth in the old axiom “absence makes the heart grow fond”. Also, keep in mind, while you are totally focused on getting her back, it is a process, not a marathon. Be patient.
Time spent apart lets both of you realize the special qualities you each brought to the relationship. Hopefully, there were some.
That time spent apart is a great opportunity for self-improvement. One part of that self-improvement–become your own person. Focus on the positive aspects of life. You may miss your ex, but moping around, kicking the cat and allowing yourself to be this needy, depressed, “Woe is me, I’m so miserable and lonely, I need my ex… ” is not the kind of positive, uplifting influence she is needing in her life.
You Are Not Like a Leaf, Blowing in the Wind
A few lines up you will see “allowing yourself to be… ” you really do allow yourself to be miserable or upbeat. It is a choice you make. And choosing to be depressed and miserable because you broke up, is really self-destructive. You take out those frustrations on others and that impacts them in lots of different ways. There is nothing to gain in behaving like a jerk because you broke up. And studies indicate that people tend to avoid jerks, while they are attracted to positive, outgoing types.
So in trying to get on track with getting your ex girlfriend back, it may require a change in attitude, but it is so well worth it. This is just a start to getting back with your ex, but you have to start somewhere.