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There was a time I quit on a relationship.
In some ways it was the ugliest part of my life.
It was also a doorway to the most amazing life I could have ever imagined.
Most people quit on a marriage, on a relationship…
And sometimes even quit on love altogether and keep their willingness and openness to love in permanent idle mode forever.
They stay until the holidays are over.
They stay until the kids are out of school.
They stay until they can find the courage to go back to work or generate more money to start a new life (and pay for those pesky lawyer bills) but often they don’t.
Often people decide to just stay stuck in a loveless, lifeless, miserable excuse of a relationship or marriage.
Sometimes they decide love is just too painful.
So, they just QUIT.
They give up.
They decide, love is just not worth all the pain, misery and agony any more.
So they put their desire for what I call BIG FAT LOVE in “permanent park” instead of drive and…
They just try to stay in survival mode and do their best to not open the ugly can of worms know as their “feelings.”
The holidays seem to make things worse for many people.
Quite often, it’s a time for family and celebrations and traditions and yes… do I dare say it?
LOVE.
The holidays can bring up so much pain, guilt and sadness for many people.
It certainly has for me over the years after leaving my son’s mom way back in 1997.
In fact, if I’m honest, it still brings up pain and sadness in me from time to time.
Not just about that but also when I think about the people who aren’t here any longer that I’ve loved and cared about.
I guess if there’s anything about the holidays I’d like to say to you, it’s THIS…
If there’s any part of the holidays that are a trigger for you and brings up pain or sadness of hopes and dreams you once had that don’t seem to be there anymore…just know…
If you look in your heart, you can find love.
If you look, you can find a reason to open to new possibilities again.
If you’re willing, you can use the holidays as a catalyst and a springboard for the greatest life ever (even with the people already in your life) *IF* you will only allow it.
What I’ve found over the years is this…
The “holidays” or anything else can be a trigger for you to quit on love and life or it can be a time of connection and celebration with friends, family and loved ones.
The great part is that you get to choose.
As I continue to do my inner work and let go of anything that gets in the way of who I truly am and the life that’s on offer for me and all of us….
Please know…
Love is our nature.
Love is our birthright.
Love is who we are.
We just let our pain, sadness and other stories get in the way of that.
It’s nice to know, we can be love.
We can have more love and we can feel more connected.
It starts with hope, desire and a willingness to try again and again (very often in totally new ways.)