Parenting is a hard job, and everyone approaches the task differently. It’s likely at some point that grandparents may not agree with how their children choose to parent, but as long as there is no abuse or neglect it is the parent’s final say on how they choose to direct their kids. When the parent is around, grandparents should take a backseat in disciplining the grandkids and respect the guidance of the parents.
If the parent says a particular behavior is unacceptable, that stance should be supported by the grandparents and never undermined. If grandparents are unsure if an activity, treat, show, and so on is permissible, then they should check in with the parents first before taking liberty with their grandchildren in exposing or letting them indulge in a way that is not consistent with the parents wishes.
Being on the same team is helpful to make sure boundaries are consistently being kept in the lives of grandchildren. If you do have a concern about the parenting decisions of your children, prayerfully approach them one-on-one to talk through your concerns. They need the perspective of others to help them grow as parents, but this conversation should be held privately as to not confuse grandkids about their parents ability to care for them.
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