admin Most people fall quickly into the clone-relationship trap. They come out of a bad experience and think, “Now I’m out of it I’m free to start afresh.” The confident ones are able to conjure up a new date pretty swiftly. Others take some time, maybe a little more cautious this time round, perhaps even trying a dating website or club. After a while, they begin to notice the same old issues re-surfacing.
Within a short stretch of time, you find yourself sucked into the same disagreement, niggles and patterns as before.
This indicator is telling you that you still haven’t learned the lessons from your previous relationships. And there is no point blaming your opposite because you cannot in a million years change another person.
The only person you can change is yourself. No matter how many times this knowledge is passed on, until it becomes part of your self-awareness practice, you might as well remain celibate or stay exactly where you are.
It seems a harsh thing to say but I know this from experience and I know also from experience that taking one hundred percent responsibility for who you are and how you act is virtually guaranteed to bring you closer to the relationship and the person of your dreams.
You can try all the dating systems in the world. you might even succeed in finding a partner, but the chances of the relationship enduring are slim to none if you haven’t changed some of the characteristics that caused the breakdown of your previous relationships. Give the dating system a chance and some new raw material – your new self – to work with.
This is no big secret and it is relatively easy to change a couple of character traits and be a newer you. Try these three.
1 – Relax. Nobody likes a desperate ‘partner hunter.’ This is definitely a pre-qualifier to a destructive relationship. If you are desperate then you may become willing to be a person you think or assume the potential partner would like best. You may be tempted to not be yourself, hiding parts of you for fear they may not like or love you.
2 – Take one hundred percent responsibility for whom you attract. If you are thinking, “I want someone who doesn’t wake up too early, who isn’t untidy, who doesn’t snore or have any bad habits” you are likely to attract someone who, over time, displays those qualities or displays similar qualities which give you the feelings you didn’t want to experience.
This is because you were focusing on what you didn’t want. Whatever you focus on, you will get. If you’re focusing on a person who doesn’t smoke, you are actually focusing on smoking. So, in this instance, you would focus on a person who appreciates clean, healthy living and the chances of attracting a smoker are vastly reduced if not completely eliminated.
3 – Remember some of your annoying and self-centred habits from your previous relationship? Eliminate one or two of those and you are on your way to new ways of relating, so long as you replace them with new, positive habits. For example, if you were the one who left the top off the toothpaste and you didn’t have a problem with it but your ex did; put the top on and ‘voila,’ you have changed something. “If you want things in your life to change, you have to change things in your life.” Brian Tracy.
Do some positive work on developing your character and you will attract someone who is doing positive work on developing their character. This is another way of experiencing the Law of Attraction at work and giving yourself more chances of avoiding relationship groundhog day.