admin Transitioning from married life to divorced life is a challenge. For a period of time, so much is different as you adjust into a new routine. It can be uncomfortable; but it can also be an exciting time if you choose it be so.
It is not uncommon for a newly divorced mother to complain that she has no ‘Alone Time’. You can have alone time, you just need to create it.
And is it work; Yes!
Face it, life isn’t handed to you on a silver platter. When newly divorced, I had full custody of my daughter and my Ex moved out of state. With no family in the area and my daughter was a preschooler, I had to get pretty creative with getting some alone time in getting certain tasks done like a trip to the hair salon.
If you want alone time you need to proactively create it. Let me give you some tips.
One of the first items on my list was to make time for exercising. This was a bit of a challenge, since I couldn’t leave a preschooler at home alone. The last thing I wanted to do was to pick her up from being in day care when I worked all day to dropping her off at a Gym’s children care area.
I decided to buy myself exercise tapes, weights and eventually also purchased a stationary bike. We would get home I would get her a snack and put on her favorite TV show… Thank You Barney! For 30 minutes, I could exercise to tape or ride my bike before starting the evening routine. It worked great for both of us… she enjoyed the downtime from being with kids all day and watching her beloved Barney.
Secondly, I decided to expand my networking with other moms so that I could take advantage of play date time when my daughter was with her friends. I was surprised to find how understanding other moms where on taking my daughter for a play date so I could get to a hair appointment or just get a nice massage.
For parents that wanted a date night out, I would take their kids for an overnight. This worked out beautifully for me when my job required occasional travel; these parents would take my daughter on those few nights.
I think my most beloved alone time in those early years was Saturday or Sunday morning. I got up at the same time on the weekend; and would just love to get a cup of coffee, listen to the sounds of birds chirping in the morning and just be with me.