admin As married couples, we are allowed to disagree. The problem many face is accepting when a disagreement ends and it is time to move on. We are faced with many different options. From a woman’s standpoint – we never forget! No matter how hard we try, we always think back to the time when (you can fill in the blanks)! It’s not that we are holding on to an old grudge, but just remembering how history always seems to repeat itself. The problem many face is being unable to forgive their spouse, or forget.
No matter how big or small the issues are, at some point we all have to either forgive or forget. There is no point in bringing it up constantly. What;s done is done, and can’t be reversed. All one can do is move forward, and not let something hold them back. Sounds easy enough, right? Quite the contrary, no it isn’t. The important thing to do is practice self-control. Just because you are thinking something, doesn’t mean it should be blurted out. Your spouse already has a good idea about it because they have heard it over and over again.
Sometimes, in relationships, we have to learn to ease situations instead of making them worse. I hear all the time that people can’t believe what their spouse said or did in public. Humility does not make for a good relationship. Especially if the same person is always the one it’s aimed at. Many people are selfish when it comes to this. They aren’t thinking about their better half, they are only thinking about themselves. Bringing your partner down in the public’s eye is a true marriage breaker. Sadly, it’s often too late when it becomes unsettling to the other person. Embarrassment is a great fear of everyone. If you get embarrassed by the way your spouse treats you, then what do you have left?
You have hostility and become the selfish partner. It doesn’t have to be that way. Talking to your spouse is just a step in beginning the process of forgiveness. They may not realize they are embarrassing you, or that they even said what they did. Now if it involves violence, there is no excuse. If your marriage turns to that, then you should seek counseling. If the other party disagrees, then you must seek a way out. Abuse will never be forgotten. There is no excuse to be abusive to your spouse. Whether it be by a woman or a man, that is no way to gain control of another.
Instilling fear in another is just a way of a person avoiding their own fears. Remember, YOU control your life. No one else does. When small problems occur, remember that there could always be a bigger problem in the future. Don’t dwell on the little things, or the bigger things will seem twice as big when they happen. Be sure to react appropriately to instances as they occur. Think before you speak, and act. If it can be overlooked, such as forgetting to do a household chore, overlook it occasionally. If it is a re-occurrence, then say something calmly. A lot of problems can be eliminated based on the reaction of the other party. Remember, in a relationship there are two people involved that have ideas and concerns!