admin Why is it that some people only feel complete when they are in a relationship?
It is human nature to want to connect with others. Yet sometimes the quality of these connections are not always rewarding in the way we want them to be, or the way they should be.
Many of us know someone who is in a long term relationship who is unhappy but afraid to get out for fear; fear of the repercussions – of being lonely, starting again and everything in between.
Yet why do people stay in relationships when all is not well? Are they hoping things will improve, or perhaps it has become habit and this is just the way it is? Is it low self-esteem and maybe they don’t think they will ever meet anyone else? Or that Mr or Mrs right just simply doesn’t exist?
Take the other scenario of those people we may know who are no sooner out of a relationship to find they are involved in another – an equally unsuitable relationship which simply continues the pattern. Is it the belief that without ‘someone’ in their life they are nothing? Or is it social stigma which suggests that without someone in our lives there must be something wrong with us?
Continuing such a pattern poses the risk of carrying past baggage and behaviour into a new relationship, and thus the cycle continues – as vulnerable people often leave themselves open to further vulnerabilities. But how do you break it?
Some people don’t have the confidence to ‘go it alone’, rather they stick with what they know, thinking this is by far the easier option. Yet hoping that someone else is going to make it all OK can spell disaster. If you are not comfortable with yourself, how are you going to be truly comfortable with someone else?
Take the time to build your own rapport. How you feel about yourself, what you know of yourself and your own state of connectedness needs to be considered before you risk ‘connectedness’ with others. A ‘real’ connection is not based on need or want, nor is it about being complimentary but rather complementary.
Attraction in itself comes from a healthy self-esteem, and from the knowledge that one does not need to be in a relationship to complete their life.