admin How to win a man when dating and how to get a man to propose are age-old questions most ladies ask themselves or talk with girlfriends at some point early in their lives. Learning how to talk or not talk to your guy can be a valuable asset to keep your relationship moving in the right direction. This article addresses some of the important ‘how to’ ideas using your words and reactions to the best benefit towards a growing, caring relationship.
Trust and Belief in Him are Key
Do you really have faith in your guy? More importantly, do your words and actions remind him of just how much you trust and have faith in him? Guys are just human and like all of us want to feel appreciated. But deeper inside they really need to feel they are worthy and reliable in the eyes of their girl. And guys can feel uncertain and unsure and even a bit lacking in self-esteem but are the last to admit it. This need is so important to him that his whole personality can be altered by a simple suggestion at full faith or lack of faith from your words.
Is This How to Trust and Inspire Confidence?
You are probably thinking, ‘But I love him and would never say I don’t trust him.’ Unfortunately, your words do not need to be a direct comment to him but even the suggestion can cut him to the heart. Here’s a simple example: A couple are discussing what to do with a small inheritance and how to best invest the money. He has been good at handling the bank accounts and has been able to put aside some savings to help weather any minor financial storm that may arise. He confidently states he is willing and feels comfortable that he can invest the money and help to keep heading toward financial prosperity. She replies doubtfully saying that since this is a nice little sum of money, maybe it would be better to go see Joe at the bank and let him tell them how best to invest the inheritance. How do you think he feels about now?
And the Results Are In
At this point in time, your guy has just taken a major blow to his ego and his self-confidence is sinking like the Titanic. You may well be right that Joe the Banker can do better, but he is not your man and it would have only been slightly more painful if you would have just twisted the knife a little harder. A man’s ego and desire to be your one and only savior in ALL situations is his most fragile weakness. His desire for you to see him as capable of handling whatever comes his way and come out the victor are at the very core of his manhood. ‘You mean I need to let him think he is Superman and can do anything?’ No, not at all, but what is important is that you are able to support and trust his decisions to let him know the kind of faith you have in him. And, no, you do not need to blindly sit nodding so he doesn’t get wounded. Your input and suggestions should not reflect a lack of confidence in him but, rather offer reassurance of faith in him and a woman’s wisdom.
An Alternative Approach
How about this response: ‘Honey, you have done a great job with our money and we are glad to be where we are. Is this something that will take a lot of time away from your other activities? Do you think you’ll need to be watching the investment a lot or reading a bunch of those investment magazines? You keep yourself pretty busy already and I don’t want you to be wearing yourself out with one more thing to do.’ With this response, you have wowed him and reassured him of your faith in him while at the same time offered him concerned, caring questions to help him think a bit more of whether he can really handle the upcoming task. Now, with a bit more talking, you both can be certain the decision will be the best for you both.
The Cornerstone of Trust and Belief
Few things can cast a shadow on your man’s feeling of self- assurance faster or stronger than a lack of confidence in his abilities on your part. Doubt the economy, the car’s age or anything outside of his direct control but make every effort to stop short of directing your doubt directly upon him. Compliment him and reassure him of your faith in him and his ability to come through and he will always give his very best to you and the relationship. Deep down inside, his greatest desire is to do everything in his power to make you happy and provide the best for you. He may make mistakes or just plain screw up at times, but focus on his strengths and he will always keep striving to be his best.