admin Mental abuse is the most frequent form of abuse. Mental abuse is perpetrated against children, against the elderly, against spouses and all other forms of relationships. To have mental abuse in a relationship all you have to have is more than one person in the relationship and one person that is insecure, controlling, and domineering.
Mental abuse works on the minds of the victim. A person that is abusing another person verbally can over a period of time actually convince their victim that the things they say about them are true. They can make the victim feel that they are to blame for the abusers problems and that if they could only do things right their abuser would be happy.
The truth is that the abuser is unhappy with them and that is the root of the problem. Nothing that anyone else can do will ever cause the abuser to be happy. You are responsible for your own personal happiness; it is not the responsibility of someone else to make you that way.
A person that perpetrates verbal abuse against another person does so because they feel inadequate, insecure, and worthless. Often times they grew up watching one of their parents dominate and control the other parent in the same manner. They feel that verbal abuse is the way to make people do what you want them to. They do not know how to have a healthy happy relationship. These people blame other people for all of their problems and have a hard time admitting that they are wrong or that they could be the problem.
Sometimes the verbal bully is so afraid of losing the other person that they attempt to belittle them so that the other person will feel honored that their abuser loves them. They attempt to drive wedges between the victim and any family, friend, or co-worker they have a relationship with, the more distance the abuser can create between family and friends of the victim the more control they can have over that person. They control the household money so that the victim does not feel like they have the financial means to strike out on their own.
Dealing with verbal abuse is hard. If you are the victim of this type of treatment you need to leave the situation. If you are married to your tormentor then you need to divorce them. If they are your friend then you need to stop associating with them. If your parent is abusing you in this manner then you need to talk to someone and let them help you get out of the situation. You do not deserve it. You have done nothing wrong. Your abuser does not know what is best for you.
One way to prevent verbal attacks is to never allow them to start happening. From the time that the relationship is very young and your partner says anything that could be considered verbally abusive tell them that you will not tolerate that type of talk, and then walk away. Do not engage them in a discussion or allow them to try and explain. This is an under no circumstances will I let you talk to me like that situation. You have to make this plain from the beginning.
You also need to learn that when you are upset or your partner is upset you need to wait until you are calm to discuss anything. Do not argue with your partner. Plan a time when you can discuss the problem and then leave the subject alone until that time.
Never attempt to argue a point with someone that has been drinking or doing drugs. They are in no condition to have a discussion because the drink or drugs has them mentally impaired at the moment. Discuss the situation when you are both sober and calm.
Mental abuse works to tear down the confidence of one individual so that another individual will feel better about themselves. The only real way to prevent this type of emotional turmoil in a relationship is to never allow verbal abuse to start happening. It starts small and escalates.