admin What do you do when you are sensing your partner is abusive to you? Do you stay in this relationship or leave? Can you change them by ‘loving’ them more? Will they be truly sorry for the things they have said?
Firstly your intuition will be indicating to you, that something is terribly wrong. Your emotions will be telling you that you are unhappy in this relationship. But you reason with yourself that you really love them.
We must identify what is sexual attraction as opposed to real love. Many times we confuse our sexual feelings that we feel towards our partner – as love.’But I really love him’ we say to ourselves. ‘I won’t feel this way towards anyone ever again!’ These feelings are very strong and so real – that even though we are being abused, we keep hoping that the honeymoon period will return. We hope that we can put our differences aside even when our partners is lashing out abuse onto us.
If you have an abusive partner the best thing is to try to stand up for yourself and tell your partner quite strongly – that you are not going to be spoken to like this. Sometimes an abusive person wants to see us react, and they get a kick out of it, knowing that they have hurt us. On the other hand, when we don’t stand up for ourselves strongly enough, someone may lose complete respect for us. This is due to a poor self esteem.
Secondly, is this relationship worth it? We need to ask ourselves why we might be putting up with abuse when someone totally disrespects us.
By getting some help from a counsellor or a friend, we may be able to identify whether we are being abused, as opposed to being too sensitive and taking things the wrong way.
Firstly recognise the abuse. If this is the case and it looks as if our abuser is not going to change – nor is sorry for what they have done, then it might be time to end the relationship. This is mostly for your own self-preservation as they continue to destroy you and your self-esteem. They could leave you feeling thoroughly depleted as they take from you, and then poison you with venomous words that hurt and cut deeply. This says more about them, than it does about you.